The Cowardly Lion

As most of you know I get a perverse thrill from killing trolls. Even though I never see them or meet these disgusting little creatures. Stepping on them is still loads of fun. I can almost see their faces through the bushy unkempt hair and ratty little costume they have on. The sickening drool dripping from their teeth. The wide vacant eyes. I know you have seen them too. Spotting them is easy just look for a small beady eyed little furry mass of vile idiocy. Talking to them is useless since none of them can read. For them "NO" means keep going. I've also noticed how easily they get irritated too. They have a very curious aversion to manners and polite discourse. Nobody actually knows for sure what they look like since no photos of them exist. If you look closely though in the dark alleyways and under the bushes outside you might just see one. His cold dead eyes are unresponsive to any human emotion. Trolls only see a meal they want to bite into. Be very careful girls, that meal is US.

Trolls always lurk in the shadows, on the fringe looking for the weakest among us. They hover just outside of the light searching for the easy prey. Vicious little predators. Be on guard for their siren song too. It sounds pleasing at first but it is only a lure. One of the things that gives them away is the stench of their lies. You see ladies a troll is the worst kind of animal, no social skills, no respect for others, disdain for the ones he desires most. I find it odd that we are his favorite meal yet he can not stand our flavor.

As we graze in the lush forest of the internet, proudly displaying our gold, brown and auburn manes. So thick and lustrous, full and coiffed to perfection. Our coats are so decorative, and abundant in color. Silvers, reds, blacks, gold's and emerald greens. Our skins are smooth to the touch yet we radiate a heat that rivals the sunlight we thrive on. Our paws are adorned with highly arched spikes which emphasize our seductive gait. We preen ourselves endlessly and without tire. We are the seductress of the internet. The fantasy of many. Gazed at and loved from afar by some, often approached only by only the bravest of Teddy Bears. As species go we come in all shapes and sizes. Which only adds to our collectively impressive and beautiful herd.

Yes ladies we are a grand vision as we saunter through life. If you look closely though you can see the scars left by our many battles. The bruises on our souls and the deep wounds of lost years. Our beauty and wisdom is unparalleled yet we still lose some to the trolls. A seemingly endless barrage of spit and drool splattered on our luscious fur. Their poison is deadly as it sinks in and wears us down. Thankfully they are not pack animals like wolves. They hate each other almost as much as they dislike us. Even though they tend to attack all at once. They creep up on us and pounce. You see they want your spirit broken, only then will the song they sing have any effect. Trolls are lonely little creatures. They hide in dank caves and live under the busy highways we travel upon. Always lurking in the shadows.

They are terrified by light though, the light of truth is a great weapon against the lies in their song. They have so little to say on their profiles. hoping to nibble at you slowly so each lie can be tailored to their victim. Trolls are always willing to send you a photo but they will never post one. Excuses abound with these pitiful creatures. Always be cautious when near them, they foam at the mouth in anticipation of a kill. They will attack without mercy or quarter. Brushing them off once is never enough. Remember trolls cant read so you have to shoo them away repeatedly. Fighting them will take all your time and strength. Trolls make everyone miserable. Trolls are unhappy and secretive until it's time for you to meet them. If a troll thinks he is going to get a meal he will gladly tell you anything to get you there. Don't expect him to show though, and if he does you might not see the sunrise.

Trolls always say the same thing, "I'm nice" how strange that a "nice" person is afraid to post a photo. How unusual that a "nice" person has NOTHING to say about themselves. Perhaps all the time they have spent in the shadows has affected their infantile brain. A persons actions and manners determine if they are "nice" far more than words ever will. Trolls always have a profile "someplace else", where it "ok" to be seen. So long as they are not seen here. Trolls are very interested in us yet they fear any association. Theses pitiful creatures hover around us like gnats with plenty of time to lurk  but never enough time to finish their profile. I love when they want to "send me a pic" but they can't put it in their profile. Such shame, they have.

It's always an excuse with them. These scared little trolls so full of themselves trying to convince us of their greatness. They talk like lions but behave like lambs. Such cowards they are. Every one of them tries to talk like James Bond with their secrecy. Always a coded name and secret occupation. even the most benign conversation is a chore with them. All they say is vile tripe. All sizzle no substance. To lazy and dumb to put even the slightest effort in to conversation. When you ask a pointed question they back away like you have sprayed them with mace.

Trolls see themselves as lions, but their actions always deem otherwise. They expect you to do all the work, invest all the time, and even throw yourself into their waiting mouth. To them we are just a folly. An erotically tempting taboo fantasy. We are not a person with feeling or needs. Even if they saw us as such they still would not care for us. They lack all the things a woman needs to flourish. They had nothing to give.

Be careful girls the jungle is dangerous....